The GWAAO Channel
by jasongraces
Summary: New Story! R&R! Anakin, Ahsoka, and ObiWan buy a television channel, but they don't know what to do with it.R&R! Rating may change!
1. Episode I

Random Fact of the Chapter:

According to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day of self-destruction.

*Real Facts*

* * *

*Catchy music plays*

Obi-Wan: Good evening. Your watching the GWAAO Channel!

Anakin: I told him not to use that name...

Ahsoka: I thought that was me.

Obi-Wan: Shut up to the people who are sitting to my left!

Ahsoka: Were on your right.

Obi-Wan: Um, was I talking to you?

Anakin: Seemed like it.

Obi-Wan: Well I wasn't. That's right. I was talking to you Harold! Watch where you aim that camera!

*Harold appears on the screen*

Obi-Wan: Anyway, I'm your host Obi-Wan Kenobi-

Anakin: And I'm host number2, always considered the hottest.

Ahsoka: And I'm host number 3, the one who gets the tresure chest.

Anakin: I thought it was hairy chest.

Obi-Wan: It's polka dot dress, get it right!

*Harold appears on the screen*

Obi-Wan: Wendy! You can look at Harold off set. This channel is about me!

Anakin: We bought it together though.

Obi-Wan: Anakin! We can talk about your feelings another time.

Anakin: But I, wha- I, nevermind.

Obi-Wan: Thank you for understanding. Ahsoka! What are doing?

Ahsoka: Painting my nails.

Obi-Wan: Leave at once please!

Ahsoka: Why?

Obi-Wan: Why? Why! You're painting them purple! Purple is my least favorite color!

Ahsoka: This is pink.

Obi-Wan: Well, well, purple is in the pink family right?

Anakin: No it isn't man.

Obi-Wan: Are you in this discussion?

Anakin: No but I want to be.

*Obi-Wan stares at Anakin*

Obi-Wan: You're a disgrace to the human race.

Anakin: Not as disgraceful as your face.

Obi-Wan: Whoa, that was so uncalled for.

Ahsoka: Your face is uncalled for.

Obi-Wan: MY FACE IS GORGEOUS.

Anakin: Hey so is mine!

*Obi-Wan's face turns blood red*

Obi-Wan: So this is how you treat your elders?

Anakin: Your Grandma is an elder.

Obi-Wan: Yeah she is! Proud of it too! Meemaw ain't no fool.

Anakin: That was so white.

Obi-Wan: Your face is white!

*Harold appears on the screen*

Obi-Wan: OH MY-

*Off Set* Padme: We are very sorry. The GWAAO Channel is having technical difficulties. Tune in next week for more...action.

*Rainbow bars appear on screen*


	2. Episode II

Random Fact of the Chapter:

You burn more calories sleeping than watching TV.

So turn off The GWAAO Channel and get sleepin'!

*Real Facts*

* * *

Obi-Wan: Hello all. I'm Obi-Wan, your host.

Ahsoka: And I'm Ahsoka, the one who apparently has the polka dress.

Obi-Wan: If you wanted it to be polka dot bikini, go buy one.

*Ahsoka sighs*

Obi-Wan: Wait, where's Anakin.

*Anakin and Padme kissing comes up on the screen*

Obi-Wan: Well that was disturbing.

Ahsoka: Um yeah.

Obi-Wan: We have a special guest to-

*Anakin walks on the set*

Obi-Wan: Um, where were you?

Anakin: Uh, ironing my Jedi robe?

Obi-Wan: And you took so long, why?

Anakin: I couldn't find my robe because you had to do the laundry, and I don't know how to iron.

Obi-Wan: Right, anyway-

Anakin: Hey ho ho, is that Asajj? Hey Asajj!

Asajj: Shut up! I kill you!

Anakin: Ho ho, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Obi-Wan: Yeah, our special guest today is my friend Asajj Ventress!

*Harold appears on the screen*

Obi-Wan: Wrong camera Wendy!

*Asajj appears on the screen*

Asajj: Hello Obi-Wan, brat, and you.

Anakin: Why am I addressed as 'you'? It sounds all animalish. Like the animal, a ewe. I have a name YOU know.

Obi-Wan: Anakin…

Asajj: Yes, I'm well aware.

Obi-Wan: So Ventress, tell us a little about your show, "Questions for Ventress?"

Asajj: Well Obi-Wan, I do enjoy filming it and the whole cast except for you.

*Anakin appears on screen*

Anakin: This is not my day…

Obi-Wan: Everyone, what's the shows famous line?

Everyone: SHUT UP GRIEVOUS!

Asajj: Oh they're naturals.

Ahsoka: So Asajj, what's your favorite part of the show?

Asajj: Well you little brat, I do love yelling at Grievous and laughing at Skywalker. They are the key to my show. Nothing is better than the comedy and the great questions my fans ask.

Obi-Wan: That reminds me, we all wrote a question for you; all the staff did.

*Harold appears on screen*

Harold: Dear Asajj, Would you ever consider a wig?

*Asajj appears on screen*

Asajj: No Harold! You and Grievous could be twins! You're both a dumbass!

Harold: Actually, he's my step-brother.

Asajj: Runs in the family, nice.

*Padme appears on screen*

Padme: Ventress-

Asajj: Whoa, whoa. Since when has the senator been on here?

Obi-Wan: Since Anakin joined.

Asajj: I thought he was-? Nevermind. Next question! Where's Dooku when I need him.

*Anakin appears on screen*

Anakin: Oh goody, my turn! Asajj, why do you look down upon me?

Asajj: Oh what a creative question! Well Anakin, I look down upon you because, EVERYDAY I DIE A LITTLE BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY LIFE!

*Padme appears on screen*

Padme: Awe, I say that to him all the time!

Asajj: Shut up princess! I don't see you on my show?

*Anakin claps*

Anakin: Awe thanks. I thought you were dating Obi-Wan?

Asajj: I AM YOU-

*Padme appears on the screen*

Padme: Hello everyone. That's all for today.

*Anakin runs out with Asajj behind him with a skillet*

Padme: Tune in next time for more…

*Asajj whacks Anakin with the skillet*

Padme: …action.

*Rainbow bars appear on the screen*

Jabba the Hutt: Be sure to check out clarinetlover21's Question's for Ventress! If you don't, I'll sit on you.


	3. Episode III

Random Fact of the Chapter:

In Kansas, it is the law that when crossing a highway at night you must wear tail lights.

*Real Facts*

* * *

*catchy music plays*

Obi-Wan: Ho ho ha ha! That's funny! Um, *clears throat* welcome back to The GWAAO Channel. I'm Kenobi.

Anakin: I'm Skywalker,

Ahsoka: I'm Tano.

Obi-Wan: Guys! Now that opening isn't original. Gosh…

Ahsoka: Um, okay. Anyway, we have two special guests today.

Anakin: To make this channel even weirder, it's me and Ahsoka!

Ahsoka: It is not, you poop head. They're us but from the story "Love me 'til you heart breaks!"

*audience claps*

Anakin: They're sadly not able to be with us today so they're coming to us by hologram!

Obi-Wan: I'll ask the first question.

*Anakin and Ahsoka appear in hologram form*

Obi-Wan: Ha ha, so, I've been reading your story and I'm intrigued that I'm paired with Satine. What are your thoughts on this pairing?

Ahsoka Hologram: Obi-Wan, you two are adorable together and I'm so excited that-

Anakin Hologram: Ahsoka you can't spoil the story!

Ahsoka hologram: Ani I wasn't…

Anakin: Ugh that's creepy...

Ahsoka: No kidding...

Anakin Hologram: I personally think-

Obi-Wan: Anakin I don't want your opinion!

Anakin: What did I say?

Obi-Wan: Not you!

Anakin Hologram: Not me?

Obi-Wan: Yes you. Hologram Anakin.

Anakin Hologram: That hurts man!

Ahsoka: Alright I'm asking a question! Ahsoka, would you actually want to have a baby?

Ahsoka Hologram: Oh Ahsoka you're so funny! Of course I'd love to. Except Anakin has to be willing.

Anakin: She's talking to you man.

Anakin Hologram: Really?

Padme: She better be talking about the hologram.

Ahsoka Hologram: I am.

Anakin Hologram: Oh... you're so cute.

Ahsoka Hologram: Oh your so hot…

*the hologram Anakin and Ahsoka begin kissing*

Obi-Wan: Well that was awkward.

Ahsoka: Man do I love that story…

Anakin: It's mostly about me and you knockin' each other up! How can you like it?

Ahsoka: You have your perspective and I have mine!

Harold: I enjoy it too. Except everyone is having a baby on it. Yet it's well written and very interesting.

Everyone: SHUT UP HAROLD!

Obi-Wan: WRONG STORY!

Everyone: OHHHHHHHHH…

Obi-Wan: Quit taking lines from other movies and stories!

Everyone: LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!

Obi-Wan: OH MY-

*camera turns to Padme*

Padme: We hope you enjoyed this episode of the GWAAO Channel. And I'm going to go make sure my Anakin wasn't the one on the hologram.

*Rainbow bars appear on screen*

* * *

Yoda: Read AhsokaxAnakin63752's story "Love me til your heart breaks'" and "Love isn't easy 'til the end" to fulfill your destiny.

Dooku: If you would like to have one of your stories featured on The GWAAO Channel, leave Ani-Banani22 a PM. Set up your PM message as followed:

"Story Title"

by Author

Main Characters:

Summary:

Dooku: If she hasn't read it she will. Ani-Banani22 will try to match the characters personalities when she writes it. Think of this channel as an advertisement. Thank you. I WILL KILL YOU ALL!


	4. Episode IV

Random Fact of the Chapter:

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

*Real Facts*

* * *

*catchy music plays*

Obi-Wan: Hello. I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin: Hi!

Obi-Wan: Well say your name, Anakin.

Anakin: No I wanted to start this show differently by me not saying my name.

Obi-Wan: Uh…whatever. Today were going to do things a little differently.

Anakin: See? Different! Oh and it was my idea.

Obi-Wan: Of coarse it was Anakin.

Anakin: Today we will be using code names. Okay, mine will be…

*camera stays on Anakin*

Anakin: Um… Agent Applesauce.

Obi-Wan: I'll be, Obi-Wan.

Anakin: That's not original. Oh and that was so 5 weeks ago.

*Obi-Wan picks up a bowl of applesauce*

Anakin: Hey! That's one of my props.

Obi-Wan: No it's not. It's my lunch.

*Anakin tries to grab the applesauce. Obi-Wan pulls it away. He pretends to lick it and gives it to Anakin*

Anakin: Awe thanks!

Obi-Wan: But Anakin, I licked that!

Anakin: No you didn't. Your tongue hovered over it.

*Anakin scooped up the sauce into his mouth. He then grabs Obi-Wan's sleeve and wipes his mouth*

Obi-Wan: ANAKIN!

Anakin: Yes Master?

Obi-Wan:

Anakin: So today's talk is about good hygiene.

Obi-Wan: What? Anakin you don't give a darn about hygiene!

Anakin: Well it's more appropriate than talking about how cows say moo?

Obi-Wan: We were going to talk about fanny packs today.

Anakin: Oh my gosh, you're right! We were! So my opinion-

Obi-Wan: I'll go first how about? Okay, I know the first originated from Rodia-

Anakin: No from Honduras.

Obi-Wan: Padawan?

Anakin: It's Honduras dude. (A/N: Me and my friend Sophie. LOL INSIDE JOKE)

Obi-Wan: Why would, wait…what's a Honduras?

Anakin: That's where they were born.

Obi-Wan: Fanny packs are fabric and some zippers.

Anakin: Your point is?

Obi-Wan: It's too quiet. Where's Ahsoka?

Anakin: Yeah, were missing the other A in GWAAO.

Obi-Wan: Oh well, back to fanny packs.

Anakin: Hold on…can we discuss something that isn't as depressing?

Obi-Wan: Um like what?

Anakin: Like…DYNAMITE!

Obi-Wan: I don't feel comfortable with that subject.

Anakin: Did you say that you'd like to be my test subject? Alright!

*Anakin runs out of the studio. As he walks out Ahsoka walks in*

Obi-Wan: Where were you Ahsoka?

Ahsoka: Well, Master Skywalker said I had to get a job.

Obi-Wan: A job?

Ahsoka: Yeah and-

Obi-Wan: Where do you work?

Ahsoka: Ugh, Chili My Bowl.

Obi-Wan: Didn't someone find a finger in their chili?

Ahsoka: It was a thumb!

Obi-Wan: Why would you work there?

Ahsoka: Eh, I like chili.

Obi-Wan: I always make chili for dinner! You two never eat it!

Ahsoka: Well, you use your MeeMaw's recipe…

Obi-Wan: And?

Ahsoka: It's not very…edible.

Obi-Wan: Then how did you start to like chili?

Ahsoka: I started to work at Chili My Bowl!

*Anakin walks in with to sticks of dynamite*

Anakin: Hey! I got the dynamite!

Ahsoka: What is going on?

Obi-Wan: Anakin! I am NOT your test subject!

*Obi-Wan stood up*

Anakin: Ha! Look Ahsoka's here! Help me tape these on Obi-Wan…

Ahsoka: Um sure!

Obi-Wan: Wait…no…NO!

*They started to tackle Obi-Wan to put the dynamite sticks on him*

Anakin: Ha! There!

Ahsoka: I got the flame thrower!

Anakin: Whoa, where'd you get that?

Ahsoka: One of the clones let me borrow it!

Anakin: Sweet! Light the dynamo!

*Ahsoka lights the flame thrower. She releases an evil grin. Anakin claps his hands*

Obi-Wan: AWE-

*Padme appears*

Padme: Please enjoy this message from Dooku.

"Dooku comes on screen with a fire and bookshelves in the background*

Dooku: (Okay it didn't work for some reason. If a really long word appears good.) . A lung disease.

*Hits a gong. Padme returns to the screen*

Padme: Ugh, thank you. Tune in next week…

*Obi-Wan runs out of the building on fire*

Obi-Wan: DEAR GOD, HELP ME!

Padme: for more acttion?

*Firedroid runs to Obi-Wan and sprays him. Obi-Wan's pants fall down*

Obi-Wan: That's better…


	5. Episode V

**Random Fact of the Chapter:**

**Women are 37% more likely to go to a psychiatrist than men are.**

*catchy music plays*

Anakin: Hello world! Welcome!

Ahsoka: You're probably wondering why it didn't say 'GWAAO' when you flipped here…

Anakin: That's because The GWAAO Channel was discontinued.

Ahsoka: Yep and that's also why Obi-Wan isn't yappin' up here!

Anakin: He was fired from the amount of votes we received from the viewers.

Harold: Hey hey hey! There was never a poll to decide that!

Anakin: It's called the co-host's choice. Ahem, me.

Ahsoka: And the co-co-host.

Harold: Co-co? Are you coo-coo?

Ahsoka: Um I'm the new star of that commercial. Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs? They fired that lame bird, so now I work three jobs.

Harold: What! That cereal really motivated me everyday! The bird made the commercial! What's your other job?

Ahsoka: I work at Chili-My-Bowl part-time, duh!

Anakin: Alright Harold do you want to be fired next?

Harold: No…

Anakin: Then shut up.

Ahsoka: Alright let's get back to the show. We'll be doing many different things such as…

Anakin: Playing pranks on Obi-Wan and other Jedi, having whip cream fights with Obi-Wan when he least expects it, and watching Obi-Wan…

Ahsoka: Perform cardio work-outs, eat Frosted Wizard Flakes, throw confetti about his room, throw him a surprise birthday party, visit his mother's again…

Anakin: And draw on his face at night, tepee his quarter's door, spray paint his beard pink and other colors, and listen to his soprano singing voice.

Ahsoka: Yes all that goodness. Some weeks we'll play a special prank on somebody you viewers decide!

Anakin: Such as Padme, Rex, Mace, Cody, Yoda, Plo, Luminara, Pierogi the Bishop's platypus, and many more that you can think of.

Ahsoka: We thought to start off with a prank Anakin and I pulled on Obi yesterday morning…

Anakin: So here it is!

*Video of Obi-Wan's quarter's appear. Obi-Wan is yawning and scratching his head. He walks over to his kitchen nook. Inside a cupboard, he grabs a spoon and bowl.*

Obi-Wan: Nothing like Frosted Wizard Flakes in the morning.

*Obi-Wan rummages through another cupboard that consists of Cocoa Puffs, Sugar-Coated Oats, Fresh Rishi Oatmeal, and a can of Chicken Pot Pie, but no Frosted Wizard Flakes.*

Obi-Wan: Where could that cereal be?

*He looks through the whole kitchen; opening every door and looking in every nook and cranny. Exhausted, Obi-Wan sits on the couch and turns his holoTV on.*

Dora: Muy bien!

Obi-Wan: This is some disgusting rubbish right there!

Dora: Oh no! Boots is missing! Can you help me find him?

Obi-Wan: He's right behind you Dora! God, turn around!

*Obi-Wan flips the channel again.*

SpongeBob: Gee, Patrick, I didn't know you spoke bird.

Patrick: No, that's Italian, SpongeBob.

*Obi-Wan bursts out laughing.*

Sandy: This here's my cricket. He's saying "hi" to you. Ain't he cute?

SpongeBob: Umm, sorry, I don't speak Italian.

*He start's laughing again. The channel suddenly flips._The Big Bang Theory_*

Raj: Were you in all six Star Wars movies?

Leonard: Yes

Raj: Are you a droid?

Leonard: Yes

Raj: Do you kind of look like a shiny Sheldon?

Leonard: Yes!

Raj: C-3PO!

Leonard: You got it

Sheldon: That's preposterous. I do not resemble C-3PO. Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered. I just don't see it

Obi-Wan: What the heck is this!

*Anakin walks in behind him and switches the channel to The Cosby Show*

Obi-Wan: MY TV IS POSSESSED!

*Obi-Wan then jumps up and tries to open the door. Anakin is now snickering from behind the couch as he changes the channel again.*

Obi-Wan: ANAKIN! ANAKIN! MY TV IS POSSESSED!

*The door then opens and Ahsoka throws his box of Frosted Wizard Flakes at him. He falls to the ground as Ahsoka laughs hysterically. It goes back to the show.*

Anakin: I have to say, that was pretty good.

Ahsoka: Kenobi, Kenobi, Kenobi…

Anakin: He is something else…

Ahsoka: 'Til next time viewers.

Anakin: Keep washing your socks…

Ahsoka: And eat Nuna Chips!

Anakin and Ahsoka: Adios!

Dooku: This episode was brought to you by Nerp Loops. The delicious circular cereal that is fruity with every bite! Get them today at your local BanthaMart.

**This was a real The GWAAO Channel update! Not It's Me or You or Anakin and the Beanstalk! Those will be soon!**


End file.
